Wings of Hope
by emerieus
Summary: One-shot, AU and OOC characters. Told from Aoshi's POV.


Hi guys !

It's a one-shot and AU. The characters are very very OOC too but it fits the storyline :o)

Have fun !

Em.

Wings of Hope

My eyes glistened with tears as I stared out of the rain-splashed window. The unending drops beat against the pane mercilessly just as my own pain throbbed in my heart. Why? Why? That was one question I would never be able to answer. My mind slipped back to one day, one place, one time, ago when I had lost my soul.

I raced up the stairs to the second floor apartment, heart thudding. Already the news drummed in my mind. She was leaving. No, that couldn't be! That couldn't be! My fist banged against the wooden door and it was ripped open by a small brunette who stared up at me with emerald eyes.

"Aoshi!" she gasped before throwing herself in my arms. I caught her, as I had done all my life, ever since she had been a kid and twirled her round. Her laughter rang in my ears and despite the emotions threatening to overwhelm me I smiled at her.

"What are you doing here?" she laughed up at me still, happiness glistening in her eyes.

"Hey, can't I drop by to see you?" I joked and yet if she had looked hard enough, she would have seen the turmoil in my eyes. But she was too happy, much too happy to feel anything but the joy that she was radiating. And it was then that I started dying. It was then that I started crying and it was the then that my heart started bleeding.

"So when were you planning to tell me about it?" I smiled slyly, my lip muscles stretching apart from the effort.

She smiled blindingly, hurting my eyes and hurting my soul and at the same time, I reveled in that beauty.

"Oh, Aoshi, I wanted to tell it to you myself," she pouted briefly and then the smile came back. "He's so nice Aoshi, he's like everything I wanted, like every dream coming true!"

Her eyes had that faraway look, the one that I had always wanted to see, the one that I had always wanted for me. And I looked away, grieving already. All I could see was this beautiful slip of a girl who had swept my heart away, given me back my smiles and taught me to live again. And all I could see was yesterday where my dreams were still alive, when the skies were still clear and when joy still lived.

"I'm leaving next month! I'm moving in with him!" she gasped out at me, excitement radiating from her, joy almost giving her wings. Her chatter reached my ears as she continued to tell me about this dream man of hers and the dreams of hers that were coming true but they fell on deaf ears. It was too much, my Lord, it was too much! And yet I hung on to my sanity. It wouldn't do to break down in front of her. It wouldn't do to show her how much pain she could inflict by being happy. The philosophical part of me had always thought that if one day the person I loved happened to love someone else, I would still be happy, because she was happy. But I guess when it happens in real life, it is completely different. Her happiness was destroying my soul, tearing apart my heart and sweeping away my dreams. I wanted to ask her. I wanted so badly to tell her, so badly to utter the words that were not mine to say. Just once, just for me. Just, please.

But I never did. I helped her pack up. I helped her put away every one of her memories as if she was doing it with mine. And when she stood in the middle of that apartment, of that bare lonesome place that looked so empty without her, that looked so much like my life, I stood beside her and clasped her hand tightly in mine. She looked up, a small smile lifting her lips and then tugged me down to sit on the floor.

"Aoshi, thank you. For all the times, you have been here for me, for all the good memories, for all the joy, thank you for it all," the smile grew misty and in her eyes shone the tears of all she felt for me.

"You saved me, you helped me up, you gave me my life back again. Thank You," I whispered back and she shook her head.

"No, I just showed you the door, you walked through it and along the path. I just gave you the push you needed, you did the rest," she finished.

And I couldn't help taking her in my arms. I pulled her to me one last time and enfolded her as tightly as I could. Buried my face in the long hair and breathed in that unique scent that was hers, that unique scent I would recognize anywhere, anytime. For one last time, I held her as mine. Time stopped, the skies could have come crashing down but I would not have cared as long as I held her. And then she was pulling away, lifting her small hands up to cup my face and smile so sweetly, so softly. And my rebellious arms finally let her go.

"Never give up Aoshi," she whispered and her lips touched mine in a butterfly kiss, so lightly I could have imagined it. But it was so real. And then she was gone, on her feet, grabbing her bag and smiling the usual Misao-smile.

"Walk me to the door," she asked and I nodded silently. We stopped on the threshold, looking back at a place that represented years gone, friends found, tears cried and love discovered. So much, so much. And we both stepped out.

The dream guy was waiting in the car in front of the building for her. She turned to me and I cried. I cried with no tears.

"Don't cry Aoshi. The sunshine will still be as bright. For you. And for me"

She was already walking away with her words and a few seconds later she was in the car. And it roared away and out of my life, taking away the most precious thing life had ever given me to behold. I stood on that pathway for a long time, feeling nothing, just hoping. Hoping she would suddenly be skipping up to me and tell me she made a mistake. And when all hope was gone, I finally said the words. Goodbye Misao. Misao-mine.

But today, years later as I stand in my apartment, my heart still hurts. Still hurts for a tiny girl who left my life with smiles still. And she was right. The sunshine did grow gradually brighter but it never again shone in that part of my heart that belonged to a single woman: her. Time heals everything but time does not take love away, nor does it take away emerald eyes that haunt my nights and my days. And never does it take away hope. Even today I hope. And I will probably hope as long as there is time for me.

I will hope for you Misao-mine.


End file.
